The great American actor Vincent Price once said that ‘he who limits his interests limits his life.’ These are words that have always stuck with me and given me great interest. I’d never really thought of my life as having been one in which my interests were limited. Perhaps I was wrong though…way back in March of this year I found myself booked on a flight for America in September. The purpose of the visit would be to attend my cousin’s wedding. The thought of flying across the world and seeing this land which I have held in my heart for so many years really caused me to think and act beyond my comfort zone.
What happens when you go beyond your comfort zone? In my case, as one who until recently had never travelled any further than Holland – never taking up the opportunity to go somewhere, to experience the vastness of this place we call home. In doing so, limiting myself to this small sphere around me and the personal limitations that go along with it. Never putting in the effort that travelling actually entails. Once upon a time I wrote on this blog as my life as having been one lived on the sidelines and never really fully participating. I was eager to find what the visit to New York would hold in store for me and what lessons would be learned along the way. At this point in time I have been home for about ten days and spent much of that time reflecting on my time in America and what I have gained as a result. A few highlights!
I travelled with my father to America which was lovely in itself to just spend time with
just the two of us, something that does not happen often! We arrived in JFK on Wednesday 19th September and were greeted at the arrivals gate by my aunt – his sister. I could see how excited she was and I could barely contain my own excitement. It was this most beautiful shared moment. She knew how much it meant to me to visit America for the first time and to share in those moments is remarkably precious. She pointed me to the window and there in the distance stood so beautifully the skyline of Manhattan proud and dignified. Spectacular. We made our way to her home. I was struck as we travelled across Long Island by how much it reminded me of home. I’m not entirely sure what I expected to see but was there anything really so different? We travelled down their highway, cars went in every direction, people commuted home from work and school. Just like home.
From the moment we arrived we were made to feel at home and for this I shall be 
forever grateful. On our first evening there we made our way into Manhattan to do some sightseeing together. Just the three of us. The rest of our family would be arriving the following day ahead of the wedding on the Friday. We found our way to Central Park and found the two spots I had wanted to see; the Imagine mosaic and most importantly, the Bethesda fountain and terrace. Here’s the thing – I’m not one for standing in front of a crowd of people getting my photo taken. I was told that I must get my photo at the Imagine mosaic. When I saw how many people were gathered I remember saying “No, it’s ok, sure the rest of them are getting their photos taken.” and being told, “Realistically, when are you ever going to see any of these people again, don’t worry about, just jump in there.” Which I did. I think this really became the clarion call for the week – say yes to life, go beyond your comfort zone and it will pay off. More on that later.
From there we found our way (remarkably quickly) to the Bethesda fountain. I have been waiting for fifteen years to see her/him/it in the flesh/iron/stone. We turned the corner and there she was. Standing beautifully radiant. Totally unmovable and impenetrable yet winged and capable of flight. This creature of Heaven that reaches down to touch humanity. Incredible warrior and yet carrying an olive branch reaching out. She was – and is – everything I ever dreamt she would be. And more. So much more. We stood together – my father, aunt and I in front of this beauty in total awe of her. At that point it all clicked in my head. For fifteen years what had been holding me back from seeing this? Nothing! Only myself and my own fears. Time for these to be put to rest. My own American adventure had begun. Tossing a quarter into the pool of Bethesda I made my own wish…a wish which was to come true.
Over the course of the week that followed we were joined by fellow family members from home in Ireland, from England and from other parts of the United States. We saw the sights of the beautiful city together and we gathered together on a sofa in suburban Long Island. We joined together to watch my beautiful cousin and her husband make 
their way down the aisle together. I was blessed enough to actually participate in this ceremony in assisting in the leading of it. A memory that I will cherish till my dying day. I met family I had not seen for ten years and family I had never met before at all. At any point did this feel in any way awkward or difficult? No, everything flowed so naturally. What a joy.
So flowed the week of saying Yes to Life and going beyond the comfort zone. I danced with family and new found friends. To dance with my cousin was remarkable…though not outside my comfort zone. I believe someday we’ll sing together. We drank and ate together. We played Flip Cup (I formed part of the winning team) – drinking games generally aren’t something I’d be good at yet there it was. Wedding after parties were happening. We sat together for a family barbecue the likes of which I have never known. We let off lanterns into the sky in memory of those no longer with us. Standing with arms around each other we watched the little twinkling lights defy the laws of gravity and float freely into the great unknown. Tears ran freely. We sang songs of our own homes. Singing songs of Ireland I think it was particularly affecting for those who have not been home in many years. We
walked through a crowd of thousands in an Italian street fair. We had photos taken with New York’s finest. We stood at Ground Zero and wept freely at the names of all those who perished on September 11 2001. We ate pizza and drank beer. We shopped…oh how we shopped! We laughed…and laughed…and laughed some more. Standing in an open air bar I danced alone to the music of Stevie Nicks. I got to know my cousins in a way I previously had not. I talked with so many Americans who were nothing short of wonderful. I got to know an exceptionally beautiful soul in particular. I visited my cousin’s grave and visited many of his own haunts – bars, restaurants and streets.
On the final day I walked along the beach at Long Island with my father and aunt once more. I found a little mermaid’s tear. I collect these at home so it’s really beautiful to find them across the world also. In those moments I knew beyond all doubt – I will be back. My certainty has not waned.
As we said farewells to each other bit by bit…tears fell. I caught myself unawares walking around a candy shop and suddenly being hit by the most painful rush of knowing I would be leaving soon. Tears fell. There was no need to hold them back or worry about what anyone would think of you. All you had to do was be yourself and be free. There’s nothing there to be ashamed of. I remember holding my aunty at the airport as we said goodbye. I was transported back fourteen years to the day of my granny’s funeral and standing at the graveside crying the most painful tears I had known. She wrapped me in her arms and I could cry freely and safely. Now as we stood at the airport she was able to shed her own tears. To have these moments with the ones we love and hold closest to our hearts is a gift not afforded to all and I will never forget it.
At the end of it all I carry that feeling of saying yes to life home with me. Life is precious and it is all too brief. Tomorrow is not something everyone will have to enjoy so we need to make the most of our time together (and indeed apart). How many more times in life will you be presented with an opportunity to go beyond your comfort zone? In that moment how will you response? To say no to life’s opportunity, what could the reason be? In my case it was fear of the unknown. Nothing more human than that. But we are more than our fears and in saying yes to life and no to fear we discover what we are truly capable of and how full life can be…and how enjoyable!
As for me, I’m gathering my dollars together again with a view to returning to America once more. There’s so much more to see and so much more to experience. What happens when we go beyond our comfort zone? We live. Where to next I hear you ask? Easy. Boston.
Kelsey and Liz…I’m comin’ to see ye!
Make Gentle the Life of the World 